January 11, 2012
Not everything is a success, and not all successful things last forever. With that being said, here are some fashion a beauty trends that are going nowhere fast, have crashed and burned and must be buried and put to rest.
Ripped Tights: Why any women would want to resemble a person who has fallen and rolled down a concrete hill is beyond me. Runs and holes in your tights are just plain tacky. Women who are usually okay with their tights being that way are hookers, drug addicts or crazy people who don't even know they have tights on.
Mix "n" Match Patterns: If you don't have the skill to do this correctly please leave it alone. Mixing polka dots and stripes is not something that should be done, EVER! The only time its appropriate is if you decide to be a 5 year child who's dressed themselves for the first time as a Halloween costume.
Dumpster Chic: Obsessive layering just isn't cute. It actually makes you look like the crazy homeless lady with all the pigeons from the movie Home Alone II. Why would looking homeless and disheveled be confused with being fashionable?
The Half Shaved Head: I actually liked this at first, but so did everyone else, and they ran it into the ground. Many times I would wonder to myself, why on earth would a woman shave one side of her head than add hair extensions to the other side? Then there's the girl who just shaves it all wrong, and adds silly designs. No, Missy you do not look good, go straight to fashion jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200
The Fold-able Flat:Yes, the convenience of fold-able flat is great, but realistically they make no sense. They offer no support, and are actually way too flat. You're better off walking around barefoot. Think about it ladies, how can a shoe that can be folded support your foot? Want something fold-able that has lots of support, buy a sanitary napkin cause these shoes aren't cutting it.
Fake Reading Glasses:I will never understand why someone would want to look like they don't have 20/20 vision. I thought having great vision was cool, at least that's what people I know without perfect vision say. Sorry, but you neither look studious, smart or nerdy because as soon as you open your mouth to say "No, these are for fashion I don't need them" it makes me think what a sheep-like fool, and what’s a next, fashionable crutches? Better yet, fashionable wheel chairs with boom boxes that play cat daddy?
Sagging Jeans: It’s just not cute. Never has been and never will be. I say, in order for this to stop all women must band together and strike against men who wear their pants like this. If women stop having sex with men who dress this way then we can end this epidemic. Prevention starts with us ladies.
Male Jeggings: Men, most women do not want to know the size of their lovers’ calves until his pants are on the floor in her bedroom after a great naughty night. We don't want you wiggling into your pants in front of your mirror. That's our job! I also need to add, ball cleavage is gross and very unattractive
These are the Fashion Fails that offend Ms Vixen the most, but I'm sure you can come up with more. Let us know what to tell the masses not to do by leaving comments below.