Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Break Up Kit

We've all had a horrible break up that seem almost impossible to get over. Some of us cry and feel sorry for ourselves, some of us find ways to get revenge and others (like me) just act as if we're fine, and it's his loss anyway. Nonetheless, when you finally get down to how you actually feel there is an underlying mild form of grief and mourning.  You have either lost or got rid of someone that meant a lot to you, and most likely has hurt you. We’re here to help with these issues.

Here's the Ms. Vixen Break Up Kit:

 Understand yourself:
  • You will go through periods of intense sadness, anger and denial, and these emotions will make you act out of character; but if you are aware of your emotions and understand them, it’s easier to control them and prevent them from making you do things you will later regret
  • Talk to your friends. You want people around you who love you and who will help you feel good about yourself. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile person, and you'll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you in a comforting net.
  •  Make an I’m "single and loving it" playlist on your iPod. All songs, that tell you how great of a women you are, and remind you how much better you are without your ex. It’s great for the ego and it its sort of a positive mental brain wash. If you feel it mentally first than eventually it'll just be natural feeling. 
Trick Yourself
  •  If it's hard for you to not call him or answer his calls delete his name and save his number as jerk, slut, ass hole or any other derogatory term that'll make you want to not answer his calls or call him. This method kind of objectifies your ex, you don't see him so much as an ex, but more as this thing you have to get rid of.
  •  Throw away anything that reminds you of them. Don't keep anything that reminds you of him. Get rid of it as soon as possible. Seems a little drastic and immature but it’s what needs to be done. When an addict comes clean they must first get rid of all things connected to the addiction and try to stay away from any triggers. Same for an ex, why visit places or watch movies that will make you think of them. Thinking of them all the time will not help you get over them, and may lead you back to a bad relationship.
Stay Busy
  • Find a hobby that helps boost your esteem. Any form of depression or loss is going to take a blow to your self esteem, so find something that makes you feel empowered. Join a book club, take a dance class or learn a new sport. Trying something new and seeing that you can also succeed in it is always a great self esteem booster. 
  • The panacea for a broken heart is a busy mind and a tired body; so throw yourself into      work even though you don’t really feel like working, and focus all your energy into your professional life. The success you achieve will make you feel much better about yourself, and it signifies the beginning of the healing process – it inspires you to concentrate on work and forget the breakup you've just been through.
 By Naima Muhammad @Queen _Naima

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