January 17, 2013
We've all been hearing the rumors and commotion concerning Chris Brown and Rihanna rekindling their love after breaking up back in 2009; due to Rihanna finding out Chris was cheating because she read a text message he received from an unknown woman talking about how they would hookup later. Rihanna questioned him and this began the altercation that began the now infamous fight. He hit her several times causing many contusions, cuts, and bruises, and also bit her. He also told her he would kill her when she attempted to call for help and he threw her phone out. This story we've all heard repeatedly and we have all giving our opinion, and I will admit that I myself didn't classify this altercation as domestic abuse. I saw it, and still see it as a fight between a dysfunctional couple. In no way or form am I excusing violence against a woman, or men for that matter. My cry for concern is the applause and happiness of many women of my generation and younger who are happy she may be going back to her long lost dysfunctional love.
I seriously don't get it. Why are so many women programmed to stand by their men no matter what? We hear about this woman all the time, and these days she's called the Ride or Die. She stands by her unfaithful, emotionally, physically abusive man, in a relationship full of heartbreak and pain and somehow equates this with love that has endured the test of time. This is far from true, because real love isn't full of pain, hurt or soul draining drama. It seems to me as if the issue is women loving their partners more than they actually love themselves. A loving healthy relationship should never challenge the love you have for yourself. If you must question the bond you have with your partner everyday, I would assume this isn't the relationship you should be in. Love is more than an emotion; it is a state of being. It is light in your body that shines through. Dimmers are for light fixtures, not your partner.
Is it really all worth it? You put your life on hold, for years of heart ache, mistrust and in worse cases bruises and broken bones. I always say, if it isn't conducive to the progress of you; then leave him alone. Soul mates challenge each other to reach their highest potential. So someone who rips away at your soul is a huge no-no.
"Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do, because sometimes you can mean nothing to someone who means so much to you. Its not pride, its self- respect." -Unknown By Naima Muhammad @Queen_Naima