Thursday, February 7, 2013

Letter To Lil Kim

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Dear, Lil Kim

I remember being in middle school sneaking and listening to your Hard Core album at my childhood friends house. We would listen at her house because there was no way I could ever listen to Lil Kim's music on my own. All the things I wasn't supposed to know about sex, or being proud of about sex, you rapped about, and although even at 13 I was never okay with the objectifying of women I admired you. I admired the fact that you stood among men with your head up, unashamed of your body, good looks and the power of your vagina. I was the big breast girl who wore baggy clothes, mostly because my mother made me, but partly because the way boys and even men would act when they were visible through my clothing. It would make me slightly ashamed about something I couldn't change about myself. It's annoying and a little traumatic to hear adults tell you all the time, "cover them things up" or telling me, I'm asking for the wrong kind of attention simply because my breast were large, as if I did something wrong. I was just being me. Isn't it the men that gawk in awe that are being offensive, and not me?

I saw a woman who was proud of her body and sexuality,  before you, that was unheard of to me. That is what spoke to me about you. You made me feel a little less awkward about my body. It was either you were a good girl or a hoe, no in between. I knew women liked sex, but before you no one talked about it as candidly as you did. No one was as risky with their wardrobe as you were either. Now everyone is wearing a leotard on stage, but before Lady Gaga or Beyonce' you arrived on stage MTV Video Awards with a purple pasty. I'll admit that’s too risky for me, but I admired the bravery and will to do whatever the hell it is you wanted. Basically saying, “fuck you, I'm going to do me.” Then I run into this picture on twitter and my feelings were literally hurt. 

Who is this? What is this? This can't be the Queen B, who rapped about sex and her body with confidence when I was a teenager. Doesn't confidence exude loving who you are? I am not for plastic surgery personally, but I'm not against a little nip and tuck either. But, Lil Kim what the hell did you do to your face? You look like an Asian woman, which I only find horrible because you were born a black woman. This new face is cry for help, and I knew through your music you concentrated on the superficial, the outside instead of the inside, but I never would of thought it ran this deep. How could the woman who gave me a feeling of security with my own body, hate hers so much? How did you get here Kimberly Denise Jones?


Naima 'Queen' Muhammad Twitter @TheQueenSpeaks_

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