Friday, March 15, 2013

My Quarter Life Crisis

Your 20's. It’s supposed to be your wonder years, a time of self discovery, and to figure out your life and your goals? My early 20's I was so completely sure of what I wanted to do with my life. Graduate with a bachelor's in Psychology, become a certified marriage therapist. I would marry my boyfriend and be starting a family.

Fast forward to mid 20's aka the big 25. What the fuck happened?! I am no where I thought I would be. One day I am celebrating my 21st birthday and the next thing you know adulthood is smacking me in the face with reality. Where is my first house I pictured myself getting ready to move into?  Why was there no wedding I thought I would have by now? Where in my degree that should be hanging on my beautifully decorated living room? We all have this expectation of where we should be mine were unrealistic but I was dreaming big!  Why couldn't I have it all? Our goals are often times tainted by where society says we should be. Making about 40k a year, starting a career, and starting a family, all these ideas are programmed into our head but why?  Why do we feel like of we have to have these things before a certain age?

If I told my 21 year old self where I would be at 25 she would laugh. How could the girl with so many plans not have one work out as expected? Life happened and now I start to panic. One day riding the subway I had an realization, I was lost. Not physically lost but lost because for the first time in my life I had no idea what I wanted to do. Sure I have a job that pays decent but I don't want to work at a "job" forever. Growing up I saw my Dad working this job, it payed decent wasn't super stressful and helped him take care of home, but its not his passion and at the end of the day he'd much rather be doing something he loved. So I told myself whatever I decided to do in my future career I want to love. I don't want to spend the rest of my days wishing I pursued something else ANYTHING else.

So, here I am 25. Do I have a house? Nope, I’m still living with my dad. Did I get my degree?  Nope. Am I married?  Not yet, but maybe some day real soon. Booming career I love? Not even close. I will tell you what I do have! Although I'm no where near in my own home, but I’m moving into my own place this summer, it’s an exciting experience. Not married but in a committed relationship with a man I love. I don't have a degree but I can always go back. I have friends who I love and family that is awesome!  All and all I'll say I'm not doing too bad. Do I know what I want to do career wise? I have no fucking clue, but I will take my time and figure it out. After all it is my life and I move to the beat of my own drum.

Take that quarter life crisis!

By Electa Johnson 
Twitter: @Emazing17  
Check out her blog also, Love, Sex and R&B

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