Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Social Matchmaking

It's the year 2013 and people use the Internet for many things, porn is the most searched thing then after that its social networks. Its human nature to seek out companionship be it friendship or a more romantic relationship. We must socialize, it's essential for our development and happiness. I've met several people through social networking, mostly for work. Ie. writers, photographers, music artist, etc, but that's it. I've had many men (and women) try to connect with me on a romantic/sexually level but I always brushed it off. Finding love on the Internet was hardly an interest of mine. It wasn't until a friend of mine found her boyfriend that she's happily been with for two years, and another friend who was happily dating, using a dating site that I reconsidered and figured, why not.

On a bored night lying in bed I picked up my phone and just signed up for a dating site. I browsed through profiles, sent out emails and I thought it was a little fun. It was like I was online shopping for men! What straight women wouldn't like that? I begin receiving emails and replies, the next day. Only one stood out, he was pretty straight forward, gave his name, and number and basically said let's talk on the phone rather then email back and forth. Which I preferred because the goal of online dating essentially is to meet, and make things, live and in person right?  Our first conversation was great, learned we had the same interest, and ideals as far as life, we enjoyed each others sense of humor. I'm always turned on by great conversation, and we spoke on the phone for a few hours. We set a date for the next day. We met and instantly I liked this man. Our first date was at a Cuban restaurant, and we gelled just as we did on the phone. I was hopeful, which is rare because I'm a skeptic when it comes to men and relationships.

Meanwhile I'm still emailing and talking to other men from the site, but honestly most of these men are weird. I met one who only wanted to email. Another whom when we finally spoke on the phone sound so socially awkward I had to ask him if he had aspergers syndrome. There was one man who said he was 10 years older then me, but when we spoke he had the jargon of a teenager. This online dating stuff was beginning to look a lot like real life dating stuff. Me, trying to weed out the weirdos the players and the liars and find the man meant for me. I do this in real life, now I have to do this online? I don't know about other people's experience but I was getting annoyed quickly.

I continued dating the first man I met for a few months, but when I brought up the next step, us making this an official relationship he wasn't on the same page as me. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship. When I heard that sentence my mind flooded with thoughts. Main thought being, "So, why the fuck are you on an online dating site!" I really didn't get it; I actually still don’t understand. Why would you make a profile, pay for membership, and then pay for dates to meet someone to have casual encounters with? Seriously, he couldn't have just met women at bar and done the same thing. Why sign up on a site where there are clearly women looking for a relationship and not actually be interested in one? I think that's the appeal right there, and it's sad. These men know we're on these sites as a last result, know we are eager to find “the one”, and they feed on that. It's sad, tasteless and a bit degrading.

Don't let those commercials fool you online dating, is just like real life dating. There are good men out there, weirdos and players. Some of us get lucky and find a partner quickly like my friend, and some find confused men with ulterior motives like I did. Just be wise, don't compromise the requirements you set forth, and if it's too good to be true, I'm sure it actually is.

*Be careful when meeting someone from online. Always meet in a public place, and follow your intuition, if you get a bad vibe leave, never put your life in danger for a date.

By Naima "Queen" Muhammad @TheQueenSpeaks_

Share this:

Post a Comment

Enter message here!

Back To Top
Copyright © 2014 Ms. Vixen. Designed by OddThemes