Monday, January 6, 2014

A Prison Called Breast

Love your curves, embrace your body and love yourself, are things I've been told my whole life, and I totally agree with them. Most of my life I've been the girl with huge boobs, I began developing my breast in 2nd grade at the age of 8, I did not know the journey would be filled with  anguish and annoyance just for having these milk making membranes. No one prepared me for the impact it  would have on my life, and everyone who looks at me. The mixed messages I would embark on as far as me embracing my body as well as remaining "decent" based on other people's standards, has been the most annoying crossroad since the age of eight years old.

The confusion started for me as adults would whisper or even say loudly, "watch out for her, her body is too grown" or would say things like, "those need to stop growing" or the one I hate the most "put those things away" making a little girl feel wrong about her body doing something that came naturally. As if I'm asking for a certain kind of attention because my body is voluptuous. How am I supposed to learn to love and respect my body, when I continuously heard rhetoric that made me feel ashamed of it?  

For the most part, I'm not a woman who shows cleavage all the time. Yet, let me add, it's not hard for me to have cleavage, I wear an F cup bra, even in a standard V neck shirt I'm going to have more cleavage than a woman with a B cup. I don't need to make an effort for that, my breast are huge, cleavage happens on its own. Nonetheless, I made a choice to not show my breast a lot, I wear chunky necklaces usually to cover, or lessen cleavage, and I don't typically wear v-neck shirts, (I typically show leg more then anything) but it wasn't until I got older that I realized, I do these things to make other people feel comfortable, I'm fine with my breast, and their size and I love them, so why am I hiding something so other people don't feel awkward, so other people don't feel threatened or embarrassed by a big piece of my physical womanhood. It mostly has to do with people's reaction to them. You know how many great outfits I've worn and loved, or pictures I've posted on social networks that I absolutely loved and people just simply reduced it to "look at those boobs!!" Just ruin something I'm obviously proud of because I'm showcasing it to the world, but they don't care. All their small minds see is breast. It's fucking annoying at this point, it's just big breast grow up and get over it.

I've decided that I will no longer alter my appearance to make other people feel comfortable, and then I took it a step further when I came across this on Tumblr

Beauty vs. Brains
Fuck that, it’s not a dichotomy. Let’s not act like mascara glues girls eyes so shut that they can’t read a word of Dickens or solve a trig problem. Let’s talk about how no boy has ever been asked if he’d rather get his Bachelor’s or get married; no boy has ever been told that he’s too handsome to run for office. So why cover up my tits so you can take me seriously?
Beauty or brains? I’ll take ‘em all, thanks. -unknown

I refuse to down play my body, my beauty and my femininity to be taken seriously. The same way everyone can objectify my breast, it's the same way I will force them to objectify my brains, because if you know me personally that's way bigger than my breast anyway.

By Queen Twitter/Instagram @The QueenSpeaks_

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