Wedding season is now in full bloom and I'm not going to lie, I love seeing the beautiful pictures of happy Brides and Grooms, amazing centerpieces and super creative reception decor all over social media.
What you won't see behind the happy smiles is all the incredible stress that leads up to this day. Everyone tells you planning a wedding is stressful and I thought for sure this would not apply to me. I love planning! I love events and all the little details that go into it. Trust me when I say it will be stressful......Very stressful!! Let me talk about 5 things planning a wedding has taught me.
1. One thing I thought I knew about weddings is that they are expensive. Especially since I live in NYC EVERYTHING is expensive! Seriously, take whatever budget you are thinking of and double it. You won't be able to afford everything you are in-visioning so don't even try to. Don't go on Pinterest because you will only see a whole bunch of ideas you can't afford or DIY ideas that seem easy but are much harder than they look and are way more trouble than it's worth to be able to say "Yes, I did make that." If you say the words "This is for a wedding...."be prepared to pay double for it. The wedding industry is booming and it's for good reason, they capitalize off the fact that in your haze of love you will make irrational decisions.
2. No one will care about your wedding as much as you do. As much as you will want to gush to your friends about your centerpieces or all the little details you are planning, don't! They don't care and not because they are bad friends but because no one wants to talk wedding 24/7 unless of course they are also planning a wedding. I found it really helpful to join sites like the knot or groups of local Women planning a wedding. You can talk weddings all day and actually get great recommendations from Brides dealing with the same things you are.
3. It will put a strain on your relationship. Whether the strain is because of the amount of money you have to spend/save or the amount of time you need to spend actually planning. Luckily for me my Fiancé and I do pretty well with being on the same page with finances, there definitely was a time when he had to bring me back down to earth. Between finding a venue, florist, photographer, officiant and everything else, we've had some very busy weekends. It can be a lot to handle and can cause some couples to fight.
4. People will annoy you. Whether it's your bridesmaids being a pain in the ass or MIA for the planning process. Your mother wanting to add 15 people to your guest list. People telling you how much a waste of money a wedding is. Unsolicited advice and recommendations. People straight up trying to invite themselves to your wedding or some other ridiculousness. People will test your patience, be straight up inconsiderate or try to make the wedding about them. Oh, and you will cry, whether tears of happiness or frustration but they will come. I was completely unprepared for not only how financially draining but emotionally draining it would all be. Don't forget to allow yourself a moment to step back and take a moment.
5. You will question your decision not to elope. There has been more than once that I've said to my Fiancé during this planning process I wish we just did a small destination ceremony instead. At some point you will doubt your decision to actually have a wedding. This is perfectly normal, don't be alarmed. With all the drama and stress you will start to wonder if all the money and effort is worth it. Although I haven't actually had my wedding yet (4 months!!!) , I am apart of a bride's group of Brides getting married this year and no one has yet to regret it. It's very easy to get wrapped up in the wedding and forget the bigger picture the marriage, no one will care about how epic your wedding was if your marriage fails.
I have learned so much about myself, the people around me and my relationship throughout this process. I won't lie at this point I can't wait for it to be OVER. To be honest I'm super excited to marry my Fiancé and be able to officially call him my husband and start our lives together. You spend one day as a Bride but hopefully the rest of your lifetime as a wife and life partner. Which let's face it, is what it should be all about.
By Electa Johnson
Header photo from TheBridesCafe.com
Electa is a Writer/Blogger and a self proclaimed foodie. She is in her 20's and figuring out life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Follower her on twitter @emazing17 and instagram @emazing17