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Thursday, December 3, 2015

Can You Stop Calling Women The C Word!

I think society gets it real wrong when a woman is called crazy for expressing herself. I also think we get it real wrong when we label her "desperate" or "attention seeking" for making her position, rank and place known. Whether this freedom of her expression has to do with her career, love life, personal style, personal choice and even what she wears day to day, it seems today's woman is heavily scrutinized for everything...even breathing sometimes! While we might barely go unscathed and get away with some things, there seems to be some other things that a woman can't do without some form of criticism and without being called the "C" word.
  • Cuts off her hair - It was Coco Chanel who once said, "A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life." And nothing is more true! I've been wearing short hair since my high school days and let me tell you, this has been the most freeing experience ever! Every time I sit down for a fresh trim, I feel revived and rejuvenated. I've rocked a fro, gone bald and more recently wear my pixie cut as my norm. I've had my hair purple, red, blonde, jet black...and this does not make me crazy! Admittedly, many times a woman chops off her hair it's in the aftermath of a traumatic experience like a death, sickness and yes, a breakup...but truth be told a woman who chops off her locks after a painful past also cuts off fear, defeat, she cuts off pessimism, guilt, anxiety, anger, jealousy and so much more! So go ahead call her crazy...you're sadly mistaken! This is a woman about to roar with victory and triumph, proving that even in the midst of heartache she's strong enough and ready to make major moves! First step: shed the one thing that we're taught makes us beautiful!
  • Goes on a date...alone - My little sister is so overprotective of me and my whereabouts, especially since she's gotten married and moved out. I going to happy hour alone, I going to the movies alone and she calls me crazy! But I'm really not! I love packing up my laptop and heading to my fave coffee shop to chill out and do work, or sometimes going to happy hour solo and actually enjoying myself. A woman is not crazy if she decides to go see the latest movie by herself or even goes to her favorite restaurant and gets a table for one. No, she's not trying to get away or hide from the cruelty of the world who think they know her business. No, she's not running away from her problems. She's actually running towards herself. There's absolutely nothing crazy about wanting to spend some time alone and enjoying some of your favorite activities, sans company. For me, this is the time we really reconnect with and better ourselves. So when the creepy guy across the bar asks, "Why is a pretty girl like you all alone?," tell him you're not and that, actually, you're hanging out with your best friend.

  • Makes it known she wants to be married- This is a big one! Why can't a woman, in a committed relationship, who's not engaged and never been proposed to express to the world that she wants to be married? Why does she have to suppress her want and desire to be someone's wife and put on the pretend, "I'm just waiting until he asks" stance? Why can't she say, "Yes, I would love to be married right now?" It's like women are made to feel like the last one picked for the after school baseball game if she's last on her list of friends and family to get wifed up. Even worse, she's made to feel like a freak of nature for expressing that, yea, maybe she's a tad disappointed that it hasn't happened for her as yet. Just because a woman might browse wedding magazines, without even being someone's fiance, or talk to her friends about her desire to be her man's wife, doesn't make her some Cinderella crazed, fairytale loving, horse drawn carriage maniac. More than likely, she's a woman who knows her worth and place and needs her man to recognize the same...before it's too late.
  • Calls off an engagement - Similarly...a woman shouldn't be called crazy if she calls off an engagement. Many people gasped when Adrienne Bailon announced on her talk show The Real that after her "Eat. Pray. Love." trip she realised that she had to call off her engagement...and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Here's the crucial difference, the woman we described above is a woman who's safe, secure and knows herself and could easily identify when a man needs to make the next step. But when her man has in fact made that step but she sees the need for more growth, to be more grounded and the need for more mental, physical and spiritual chemistry it is A-Ok to take a step back and save herself some heartache.
  • Explores celibacy - Celibacy seems to be the new black! And without minimizing the real life, life changing benefits it could have (so I've heard), it really is the new black! From celebrity couples like Ciara & Russell Wilson, DeVon Franklin & Meagan Good and Adam Housley & Tamera Mowry, so many people are now pulling the covers off of celibacy and have done or doing it for whatever reasons make sense to them. I think it's a beautiful thing to see a woman take charge of her sexuality and pretty much shut it down when she wants to. In a society that equates women with sex, it speaks volumes for and about any woman who seeks to change the narrative and prove that we are more than our breasts, thighs and asses. Being in a relationship and making your man agree to the same...now that's what I call girl power!

Contrary to popular belief, when a woman makes a drastic life change or just wants to carve out some alone time, trust me, she's not going crazy! When she does something that seems far left field, she's not always crying out for help, having a meltdown or seeking attention. Give the sister some space and let her be free to express herself!

Have you ever been called crazy for doing things that satisfied you and your friends or family didn't understand? Let us know in the comment section below!






By: Ianthia Smith As an avvid lifestyle, fashion, entertainment and travel writer and blogger from the Bahamas. She loves to share her  world with others through writing! Her motto: Live. Love. Write it down.
Links: website: www.ianthia-smith.com
Twitter: @ihold_themic
Instagram: @iamianthia
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IanthiaSASmith1/














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