Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Wedding Culture Bores Me


I believe in marriage and would one day like to be married. It isn't huge on my life list but it's there, and it's important to me. Although I'm into marriage I'm learning as I get older I'm not into wedding culture and the business of weddings, actually  I am very turned off by it and think I always have been. I was never the girl fantasizing about being the bride, I just thought about being a wife, and starting a family.

I was never interested in a white dress, I just wanted to be in a loving healthy relationship, a ceremony to commemorate that and a dope party afterward. Things that many women enjoy like the engagement ring reveal turn me off,  I always fake my excitement, for my friends benefit. I never actually care for it, I'm mostly happy they have found a life partner to commit to.  
I have no ties to traditions in weddings created by something other than myself, this realization dawned on me when I was engaged in my 20's my ex-fiancé and I had always talked of marriage throughout our whole relationship, so there was no shock proposal. He came home from work one day gave me a hug and a kiss and handed me the ring box. I opened it, smiled, kissed him back, and put on the ring. It was rose gold with a big diamond. That's all I know, I don't remember how many karats, or the setting, I just remember it being too big for my finger. I have very small hands so that was understandable, him not knowing my ring size. I put the ring back in the box and let it stay on the dresser, never to be placed on my finger again. I didn't really care about it. 

I didn't push to get it resized, I didn't care. I just wanted to be married, we were going to have two weddings which I thought was cool, a small one in the states, and one in Guinea where his mother lived in West Africa.  Obviously, it never happened, him and I broke up a year later, but that ring stayed in that box. I'm not into the manufactured part that goes with getting married. Inviting family I hardly see, and friends from the 3rd grade that have found me on Facebook, to put on this grand showing for them really. It's not my thing, I want intimacy, at my wedding. I want fall leaves on the ground and candles, not flowers. I want a wedding dress that exudes my personality, I hate wearing white, so I'm not wearing it for my wedding. My engagement ring won't be a diamond, it'll be a pink sapphire, they'll be no social media ring reveal. I may not have bridesmaids, I still don't understand the purpose of them (although I've been one a few times) I just want him, and I to proclaim our love for each other in front of friends and family, eat cake because I love cake and dance the night away. No bachelorette party, I had one already for my 29th birthday, who needs marriage to have a crazy night out? 

I'd be perfectly fine with a Justice of the Peace wedding, a great photographer, my future fiances family and mine at our side, that's enough for me, and really all I need.

Is a traditional USA wedding culture something you're in to? Let us know in the comment section below! 

By Queen 
Queen is a 30 something from the Bronx, NY. She created Ms. Vixen to spread her thoughts on feminism, Black pride, it's the first stop on her quest to be a media mogul. 
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  1. I've never been into wedding culture because it seems so fake and corny to me. Most of it is done to seek attention

    1. Couldn't agree more, I guess it works for most people, I just not apart of the most lol

  2. SAME sentiments here! From the ceremony, to the engagement ring, to the intimacy as opposed to the "show" of it all, to the wedding dress. And quite frankly on a personal level, I'm not big on spending a shit ton of money on a diamond ring when that money could be spent on something better (a memorable experience, maybe?). I think I'd just want something more symbolic.

    I also loved what you mentioned about having no ties to traditions other than what you've built yourself. I find myself more & more, falling in love with creating traditions that are valuable/meaningful to my partner & I, as opposed to what's valued outside of us (others opinions).

    1. yea, when I learned that the tradition of the diamond engagement ring started in the 30's by Diamond companies for profit, I was to through and no longer interested in it. I prefer to create my own personal sentimental traditions woth my husband and family


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