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Monday, January 25, 2016

The Huge difference Between a Secret Relationship and a Private One

I truly believe life is all about balance. Sometimes I work out everyday and drink my protein smoothies and sometimes I binge watch Chopped and eat pizza, Sometimes I read all day and have intellectual conversations or I might watch ratchet TV and twerk to Drake songs. See... Balance! This is why I have no qualms about saying I love me some reality TV, Yes sometimes it is completely unrealistic and so much of a hot mess, but damn it makes for some interesting TV. I am able to take this as entertainment only and the things I watch on television I take with a grain of salt. I consider myself as someone  in a successful relationship full of love, trust and respect so when I watched a more recent episode of Love and Hip Hop New York I was  completely confused, let me explain.

In a recent episode of Love and Hip Hop NY the self proclaimed "Prince of NY" DJ Self ran into some issues with his girlfriend (I will use that term loosely.) She seemed to have issues with their relationship because they rarely went out in public as a couple, there was no mention of her  in public or indication that heon any of his social media and his radio show, and she was pretty much tired of being his secret. He figured the solution for this was to take her out to dinner at a restaurant with  no one else in it, except the camera crew of course. We later find out maybe the reason he isn't so keen on being open about his relationship status was because he also sleeping with another cast member Cardi B. He also mentions he's  a private person and he didn't like his relationships being out in the open, especially with his career in entertainment. Now, here lies the issue for me, there is a HUGE difference between being in a private relationship and being in a secret relationship.




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 I love social media and have no qualms about having my husband all over my Facebook or the occasional #MCM on the 'Gram. I love my Husband and having no issues letting the world know it! However, I am very  aware that whatever you put out in the world for public perception will be commented on, judged and scrutinized. I will NEVER post any drama going on in my relationship on social media, the world does not need to know that I am annoyed with him for not washing the dishes or that we got into an argument for whatever reason. I just can't wrap my head around people putting their partner on blast on social media only to look really silly a few days later proclaiming their love for them. Been there, done that, you live and you learn.

Being private means you make a conscious decision to decide what you do and don't disclose to the public. In all relationships there should be some things that are kept private because after all, a romantic relationship is between the two parties involved. Nothing wrong with not disclosing everything that happens in your relationship and it usually leads to a healthier relationship when you don't share every details with the rest of the world. However at some point there should be clear indication that both you and your partner are spoken for. How and when you decide to do that is up to you but it definitely should be done. 

If you are in a relationship with someone for close to a year and their friends/family don't know you exists it may be time to have a serious conversation with them as to why they don't feel comfortable disclosing their relationship status with the ones closest to them. It may not necessarily be that they seeing someone else, as in the case with DJ Self, but there could be something going on that you are not aware of. Let's be honest when most of us are in relationships we are happy with there is usually no reason we don't want to share that with people. I also truly believe communication is key. It's important to have honest conversations about what you expect from someone you are in a relationship, when, how and who they disclose the relationship with are all things that should be discussed. 

Being in a "secret" relationship is usually a recipe for disaster, If you're with someone you can't stop talking about to everyone around you and they have yet to mention it to their loved ones, usually something is wrong. Hopefully you aren't figuring that out when someone walks up to you and let's you know just how well they know your partner's private areas.



Have you ever been in a secret relationship??? Share your story with us in the comment section below!!!!!














Electa is a self proclaimed foodie. She is a wife, a domestic goddess, and aspiring chef in training, and a Writer/Blogger from Brooklyn with serious Wanderlust. follow her on twitter @emazing17, instagram @emazing17 and snapchat @Emazing1787


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