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Monday, December 18, 2017

Nervous About Meeting Your Partners Parent's For The Holidays? Don't Worry, We Got You!

It is officially the most wonderful and expensive time of year yet again! CUFFING SEASON. Thanksgiving and Halloween are safely in the past, and since we have all been staring at Christmas tree decorations since October 31st (looking at you, Target!) Your thoughts are probably turning toward the most dreaded part of the year.


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Caption: New relationship responsibilities

This edition of The Wonderful World of Vaginas: WHAT DO I SAY TO MY PARTNERS PARENTS OVER DINNER?!


  1. Go in prepared! Talk to your partner! No one knows their family better than they do! Ask them for a quick rundown of the main event. Ask your partner about who the difficult family members are, what topics are sensitive, and what things you should expect to be asked. Remember that these people are not the static, cut-outs in your mind! Prepare for awkward questions that you don’t necessarily want to answer. Get in front of a mirror and practice crafting some diplomatic answers. Practice and don't feel silly! You're a grown ass human being and you can do whatever you want!Image result for do whatever i want gif
  2.  Come bearing gifts!   DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHAMELESSLY WARM YOUR WAY INTO THE GOOD GRACES OF YOUR PARTNER'S FAMILY. YOU WANT THOSE PEOPLE LIKING YOU MORE THAN YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER BY THE END OF THE NIGHT. Come bearing whatever you think they will like best! A safe bet is to always bring alcohol. A quality wine is a great gift that shows class and will serve the dual purpose of mellowing out the relatives. You can also ask your partner what their family likes to drink, if you’re not comfortable with guessing. Aim for the most important members of your partners family. You don’t want to schmooze mom if the opinion that really matters to your partner is that of their cousin. KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL

                        Got some non-drinkers on your hands?
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    What kind of sober monsters are these people!?

    Bake something! Baked goods are pretty safe in the food department. Keep in mind that food, during the holidays, is sacred, especially for POC. Also, the family might not trust your three-bean casserole yet.
    Start small and bring something like a cake or a pie. Maybe even a parfait. Because like Donkey said "everybody likes parfaits."!    


    Stephanie knows why. Don't be Stephanie. 
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  3. Stay out of the R.E.A.P Zone Follow this rule of thumb and R.E.A.P. the benefits! This acronym is a nice rule of thumb for what topics NOT to breach over dinner. I use it when going into new social situations with people I want to get along with, but don’t quite have a feel for yet.
    R - Religion
    E - Economics
    A - Abortion
    P - Politics
    You never know who is around your dinner table, especially when interacting with extended family members from your new, or not so new, partner. The 53%  elected a shaken up bottle of Fanta as our president. Let's stay away from all political danger zones.

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    Opening the night with your thoughts on the new world order might not be a “classy” opening night conversation and thats the last of it!
  4. Eat Modestly Fucking Relax Your partner likes you. Your partners family likes your partner. (If your partners family doesn’t even like their own offspring, what the hell are you doing at their dinner table anyway???) Odds are they will like you as well, hopefully even more than you expected. MOST of us don’t have to deal with the HORRIBLE relatives, and even if they ARE horrid, at this point, you will literally have done all you can do. So, you might as well chill out, drink your alcohol, don’t overeat, and enjoy! You got this!!!


  5. Fucking Relax Your partner likes you. Your partners family likes your partner. (If your partners family doesn’t even like their own offspring, what the hell are you doing at their dinner table anyway???) Odds are they will like you as well, hopefully even more than you expected. MOST of us don’t have to deal with the HORRIBLE relatives, and even if they ARE horrid, at this point, you will literally have done all you can do. So, you might as well chill out, drink your alcohol, don’t overeat, and enjoy! You got this!!!










    By Alisha Smith, Alisha is a 24 year old recent graduate, writer, blogger, gamer, and corporate drone by day and rampant blabbermouth by night. She currently writes for Ms. Vixen and on Medium and spends her free time shamelessly pursuing her interests and avoiding other humans. 

                                                                

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