|Photo via Createherstock|
I was chatting with a friend the other day when we began talking about her man. Although they have been in an exclusive, committed relationship for the last five months, she felt discomfort she about being firmly located in the land of relationship status ambiguity. After a night of passion, she awoke the next morning and confessed her feelings. Her gentleman panicked and told her that although he doesn’t want to see other people or be with anyone other than her, he was not ready to be in a ‘relationship’.
|...Maybe not this sort of boundary|
Boundaries tell people how they can and cannot treat you and draw lines in the sand, that those who respect you will not cross. If your partner thinks they can have their cake and eat it too, make sure they understand that getting into the inner sanctum of your relationship perks CANNOT be obtained with an easy fuck and a snuggle. If they are already getting everything they need from you without commitment, what is the incentive to be in a committed relationship? I’ll clue you in. THEY DON’T HAVE ONE. While this isn’t the sounding alarm to suddenly withhold sex and build crazy, emotional walls. You probably shouldn’t start doing their laundry or cooking three-course meals until they decide to be your exclusive, committed partner.
They are "getting their shit together"
I read an article once, on yourtango.com, to slightly paraphrase:
When your partner says, “I’m not ready for a relationship yet,” they may very well mean, “I’m not ready to take you on,” instead of, “I’m not ready to give up being single.”
They aren't ready for a relationship
- Your bomb ass sex game
- Your bomb ass personality
- Your bomb ass cooking
- Your bomb ass paycheck
- Your bomb ass ass
|I know ... I'm sorry. I'm sure your ass is perfect!|
You have to realize all of the above are band-aids and stop-gaps on a much more serious wound! A TRIFLING ATTITUDE. If you are clearly looking for a relationship and the person you’re talking to isn’t with “the shits”, but still wants all of your benefits, I’m going to need you to locate the hills and run for them! That person is wasting your time!
|Feeling a little attacked here but, ... okay|