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Sunday, September 29, 2019

HOW GROWN FOLKS MAKE FRIENDS

Photo Credit nappy.co


               
               

         
As we all get older and make changes in our lives, it changes the landscape of our friendships as well. Some of our "down for whatever" friends have changes in their lives that change the relationship. You may see your friends less and the social activities you use to enjoy together may not be how you'll hang out now, and that's a natural thing.

As a child, I made most of my friends at school and in the mosque I attended. These were spaces where I had continuous contact with the same people who had a similar interest or background. As children, our parents or guardians generally set these kinds of spaces up for us. They decide where we lived and the places we went, but the common occurrence is the continuous interaction you have with the people in these social settings. This is is how we build relationships.



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So why does it seem harder to make friends as an adult? I think as an adult we care a lot more what people think and we carry baggage from past traumas. Also, we don't generally create social settings our parents created for us as children. We tend to go out communally, which deters us from meeting new people. As children, we went into our many social settings alone and had to make friends there. This doesn't happen often as adults unless you move to another city. Mirroring how we made friends as children can make it easier to start this process as an adult.

Here are some ways I think are helpful for making friends as an adult

Join a meet-up group 

Meetup is accessible on a personal computer, tablet, or through its phone-based app. If you enjoy reading books, knitting, watching movies, traveling, or indulging in spa treatments in your spare time, there are specific groups tailored to your hobbies, ethnicity, and even your job or college major. In addition, if you're the outgoing type or your passion isn't currently represented on the platform, feel free to start your own group for members to join.

Take an adult class

Kinda like you did while in school, learning something new is a great place to make new friends. Tap into that energy as an adult by participating in an adult class or workshop that centers on what you're really interested in. Need to brush up on your skills in the kitchen? Take a cooking or baking class, and spark a conversation with the person at your workstation. From crafting and dancing to writing and cycling, you can search for available classes that are available near you online, or check out community colleges or local institutions offering self-improvement or recreational courses.

Join a book club, podcast or TV group 

If you like reading, book clubs are a great way to meet people with a common interest, but I like to take it further and add podcasts and TV shows. It's great to have conversations about the media you consume and discussing it with your homies. There's always something you'll have interpreted differently, that'll be cool to talk about. 

Happy hour

So, I'll be honest and say I was hesitant about putting this on my list, but when I asked people on my social media they all said this works for them. Many people do go to happy hours and meet new people all the time. I have never gone to a bar alone and will challenge myself to do this more, so I'll keep yall updated on how this goes! 

Social Media 

Social media is a great way to meet people all over the world. I have made friends all over the USA through twitter, and yes, we've met in real life! Even if you don't meet IRL, it's a great opportunity to find a community and people with interest similar to yours. 

Are there some suggestions you have that I left out? Please let me know in the comment section below! 




 By: Naima "Queen" Muhammad 
Queen is a 30 something from the Bronx, NY. She created  Ms. Vixen to spread her thoughts on womanism, Black pride, it's the first stop on her quest to be a media mogul. 

Follow Queen 
Twitter @TheQueenSpeaks_
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1 comment :

  1. This article content is really unique and amazing.This article really helpful and explained very well.So i am really thankful to you for sharing keep it up..
    gym gyani

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