Mind + Body


Thursday, May 16, 2019

Ms. Vixen IRL: CareFreeBlackGirk Cookout Brooklyn

Ms. Vixen will be participating in the CareFreeBlackGirl CookOut for a second year! This is an interactive day festival that promotes, women empowerment, entrepreneurship, and the arts!

Come chill with us at our tent for a Free Bad Bitch Affirming Workshops for this June’s Ms. Vixen IRL! All workshops will be hosted by Ms. Vixen's creator Queen. You will learn, how to affirm the things that fill your bad bitch energy to the brim and then some. 
All workshops will be an hour long, workshop times will be 3:00pm, 4:30pm, and 6:00pm. 

Get more info about the CareFreeBlackGirl Cookout, and get your free RSVP below!  

Location : Hebert Von King Park
Time - 2pm - 7:00 pm
what to expect
•female DJs , performers & host
•glam bar - braids, lashes
•health & wellness activity ( meditation, yoga, or aerobics)
•good vibes
•field day like games - ( hot potato, red light / green light & More)

What To Bring

•Entry is free we just ask that you bring $ for vendors
•Blanket for grass
•Good Vibes
•comfy clothes


Sunday, April 28, 2019

Destigmatizing Psych Meds

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Selecting a remedy for mental fitness concerns is a very personal selection. Anything you select to do or now not do have to be thought out cautiously and researched earlier than you embark in your adventure. However, one remedy method that I have continually seen misrepresented and challenge to worry mongering via people who both don't have any revel in with it or who have had bad stories with its miles the usage of psychotropic capsules. Due to an irresponsible US pharmaceutical enterprise, the capability to each creates and discover a growing quantity of conspiracy theories and fake data thru the net, the proliferation of bad reviews, and ignoring the lived reviews and stories of those who they have helped, psych meds are becoming a horrific rap.

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No matter my personal, frequently painful and frustrating, journey with psych meds I still don’t depend on them out as a beneficial and effective shape of treatment for lots, many human beings due to the fact I apprehend my own anecdotal experience doesn’t trump information or different human beings stories. Because of the enzymes, my frame produces I can't nicely method maximum psychotropic medicines and have experienced a few awful, occasionally rare and life-threatening, aspect consequences. I didn’t discover this out till an awful lot later in life after having felt like a guinea pig when you consider that my formative years. However, I don’t fault most of my psychiatrists for his or her willpower to locate something that might help me using trial and error due to the fact the genetic checking out, called pharmacogenetics, changed into not available till very recently. It's miles, however, pricey and now not always covered with the aid of insurance. I hope with growing to get right of entry to pharmacogenetic trying out that psychiatry will become less hit or miss due to the fact that may be a huge element in why psych meds have the sort of terrible recognition.
A big contributing thing to the vilification of psych meds, especially within the US, is the justified mistrust of the pharmaceutical industry. Remedy need to now not be a profit-pushed industry, however, in America, it's far. This has led the manner to medicines and remedies for diverse situations being authorized nicely earlier than the ideal stage of trying out might be executed, incentivizing docs to prescribe medications that have constrained research to be had approximately them, marketing of prescribed drugs through reps who've no actual scientific historical past or large knowledge of the medicines they may be pushing, advertising and marketing complex drugs immediately to customers just like sugary cereals are advertised to kids in a bid to get them to demand them, and a bunch of different worries. But, even with all of the issues regarding “big pharma” numerous remedies that they have got evolved and positioned available on the market are overwhelmingly secure and effective.

Deadhead the Flowers of Your Dreams

Despite the horrific PR round pharmaceutical businesses, I believe that one in every of the biggest motives the disdain for psych meds has grown over the years is due to the experimental nature of prescription. Although people can and do additionally have negative and on occasion, debilitating facet consequences from medicines for different physical ailments, the stigma round intellectual illness and the truth that the mind is the maximum complicated and least understood organ of the human body amplifies the distrust round psych meds. There are limitless boards associated with psych meds and their facet results with many humans urging others to not just stay far away from a particular medication, however, to forgo medication as a treatment option altogether due to their very own stories. It might be distinct if the boards had been used as a place to ask if others skilled the same facet consequences, ask what they did to deal with them, or simply be an all-around supportive environment, however that isn't constantly the case. Too often I see human beings reply to questions about medicines with anger and anecdotal or false records, on occasion going as far as to shame humans for selecting to take the remedy. This isn't just dangerous, but ableist as nicely. There are also people with proper intentions however horrible wording just like the below trade on Twitter:

I ought to thoroughly have grown to become out to be one of those human beings, however, I keep in mind that anybody responds to each medicine and what may be taken into consideration risk-free things in another way. It’s why a few human beings will emerge as hospitalized from penicillin and others stay’s will be stored. It’s why I will eat all of the strawberries I want but someone else may fit into anaphylactic surprise. Acknowledging that we all don’t, and gained, reply to treatments in the exact equal manner is extraordinarily essential to me. It’s why I constantly upload the qualifier “for me” or a few variations of that once talking about treatments that have and feature no longer labored in my enjoy.
I would by no means attempt to dissuade everybody from beginning medicinal drug or stress them to come back off of medication. My method is to empower human beings to speak brazenly and absolutely, in addition, to endorse for themselves in relation to discussing medicine options with their doctors. Even when I've informed approximately side effects and a person expresses they can’t manage them, I might never inform a person to stop cold turkey, however, to discuss with their doctors immediately on how to properly stop or mitigate side results. As properly versed as I am in intellectual fitness as a client, student, and former issuer I am now not a health practitioner and I don’t pretend to be.

Psychiatric meds have to be dealt with by using the public like some other medicinal drug used to deal with a physical infection. Just due to the fact mental contamination affects the brain that doesn’t make it any much less of a physical infection, and it doesn’t make the need for medical treatment any less necessary. As someone who has worked to endorse for humans with intellectual illnesses and as someone who has an intellectual illness, considered one of the most important hurdles concerning remedy and helps is that it's far treated as a monolithic set of conditions. Even the ones who have nothing but the excellent of intentions, who're deemed certified to create applications and educational material to enhance the great of life of these with mental fitness concerns and destigmatize intellectual infection fall into these trappings. Believe treating all forms of cancer with the identical remedy routine and the bad outcomes that could produce. Yet, we preserve to look at this in relation to discussions around the intellectual infection. We have to get away from this manner of questioning or we will continue to scare human beings out of getting the assistance they need and may advantage from.

By Lithium to Lashes, Check out more of her work on her blog
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Sunday, October 21, 2018

Giants Don't Play Small: Glow Unapologetically

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Wzup, Wzup, WZUP!!!! *Cues Martin theme song* It's been a hot and long minute ya'll, but ya girl is back and better than ever. I've been living, learning, loving, and growing, and I've picked up a few things along the way that I'd like to share with you. First and foremost, I learned something about myself in the past few months that I am not fond of. The beauty of growth, however, is that we have room to evolve. I learned that I have the tendency to shrink myself along with my values and belief around others in an effort to make them more comfortable and to fit in. In this new day, I realize I am a giant, and like a giant, I can't help others, fulfill my purpose, or manifest my vision by playing small in any regard.

Giant | 1. noun-an imaginary or mythical being of human form but superhuman size. 2. adj -of very great size or force; gigantic.


We've all heard the question: are you a leader or follower? Sure. On my best day, my response is: "I'm a leader all day babeee." Yet, in actuality, I have many follower moments.  When the majority of the people I surround myself with are on one wave, I conform in an effort to ride it. Typically, this phenomenon disregards my own beliefs and ethics. Recently, I found that to be bullshit. I'm too old to be getting caught up in trying to "fit in" or be like someone else. In essence, I am the shit in my own right, and I do not need any leader other than the Lord all mighty and my spirit guides. On the contrary, this brief flashback into adolescent-hood got me thinking. In what other ways have I shrunk myself?

  1. . I downplay my talents and ideas to seem less intimidating to others. This might sound crazy, but its the truth. I have been told on numerous occasions that I am too much, or too crazy, or intimidating. So, as a defense mechanism, I resolved to speak up last.
  2.  I seldom share or celebrate good news. When something positive occurs in my life, I share it with my man and keep it on lock. I don't like to share with others who are also climbing because I don't want to appear boastful.
  3. When I am complimented, I deflect the praise by sharing a flaw. Them: "Your hair is so cute!" Me: "Girl, it was only 5.99 at the beauty supply store. Nothing fancy." It's like I subconsciously believe I don't deserve love and praise. Therefore, countering compliments became my defense.
  4.  I often sought confirmation or reassurance about a move from others. A new hairdo, relationships, outfit ideas, or etc, would need to be affirmed by someone who I felt knew more than me or opinions I valued greatly. In doing this, I found my own confidence in certain decisions had dwindled.
  5. When faced with an opposing view, comment or action, I did not advocate for myself. Occasions when folks say or do hurtful things, in an effort to avoid confrontation, I turned the other cheek. Not seeking revenge or disturbing piece is a beautiful thing, until one own self-esteem is tormented.

All that was cute, but I'm a giant.

Break it down, B:

The first problem with shrinking yourself to please others or conform is who you truly are will be shrouded by a mask. After a while, you will become so used being who you think the worlds needs you to be, you forget who you are. Second, when we shrink ourselves, we forfeit the opportunity to be used by God, the universe, or to whomever you pray. Different is truly beautiful, and it is also intentional. We were all uniquely made, and evolution lives in the difference. Different is the only avenue available to generate change. Lastly, it is a true disservice to oneself not to glow unapologetically. There is absolutely no way for you to live your best happy life if you are too busy ignoring your authentic self. Otherwise, the journey we call life will run you like a treadmill. Literally, you will find yourself doing all of this cardio without a beautiful view along the way. Cut the shit.

Well, Damn, B, How do I do this?

Combat urges to shrink by:

Surround yourself with like-minded folk. As people, it is natural to have a variety of thought processes and view. However, it is possible to surround yourself with people who share the same core values and mindsets. Ask yourself, is your tribe helping you grow or bringing you down? Do they celebrate you, or make you feel meager? Also, keep in mind, iron sharpens iron. In other words, those who share the same core values and mindset can only hold you accountable and help you grow.
Focus self-realization on the love of God, the universe, or whomever you pray. Consider this. God has crafted you uniquely, so life does not get any better. God loves every part of you exactly as you are while asking for nothing in return--not even conformity. Who are we to alter what God has already solidified and deemed perfect.

Love you. Good, bad, blemishes, and highlights. Nobody is perfect, but nobody is going to love you better or more than yourself. Realize you have great qualities and flaws, and embracing them decreases the need for outside approval.

During my moments of conformity, I found myself confused, drained, and uncertain. I found myself confused about who am I as well as my cause. I felt drained by the negativity I did not attempt to combat. I felt uncertain about my current position in life. After all, if I wasn't like them, then something was wrong. Later, I realized I only felt these feelings because I was not being my true and fullest self. Yet and still, the same God, that delivered me from turmoil, is the same who loves me as I am. (1 Samuel 17:37)  .It would be a disservice to the world, for me not to glow. With that glow and be your extra self. Be so extra folks start asking how much for the extra sauce. It's a movement.

By: Britney “Bird Nefertiti” Newton is a spiritual womanist, writer, blogger, poet, and “women are made of fire” enthusiast. 

Follow her on social media! 
IG:@birdnefertiti FB: Bird Nefertiti Twitter: @birdnefertiti

Monday, September 17, 2018

Deadhead the Flowers of Your Dreams

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So, I'm in my new home preparing to plant some flowers. I like garden shit. It makes me feel one with the earth, but that's neither here nor there. I read the back of the seed packet and the instructions read: "deadhead flowers to foster more blooming." In true curiosity, I immediately google the term "deadhead." After all, the term sounds dangerous and counter-productive to the goal of blooming flowers, but on the contrary, I learned I need to deadhead the flowers of my own dreams and life in order to encourage more blooms.

Deadhead-verb|remove dead flower heads from a plant to encourage further blooming

Habits-noun|a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up


A flower plant's natural goal is to flower (bloom), create and set seeds, and die. It is the flow of life to do your part, reproduce, and well we all saw what happened to Mufassa. Yet, when we plant a flower garden, we ultimately wish to cultivate beautiful flowers which are aesthetically pleasing to us and adds a little light to our otherwise monotonous yards and homes. Deadheading helps gardeners to achieve the aesthetic goal, for when flower blooms begin to decay, the flower sends a signal to the root which says; "Aye man, it's over for the under. We just need to stop blooming and produce seeds now before we head to the upper room." Deadheading helps to discourage the message. In doing so, more flowers bloom instead of decaying because the plant's energy is redirected from setting seeds to creating more blooms. After learning this, I began to see many plants which had decaying parts. And I think, oh man those old parts need to be cut in order for the plant to reach its fullest potential. Then my inner spirit said,.

Break it down, B:

When our hair is not growing, the first thing our hair stylist says to us is: "you need to cut these dead-ends." And even when the new growth accrues, the dead-ends do not give them the room to shine. On one end we will have growing hair, but it is immediately stopped at the dry and brittle demon ends. The same concept applies to flowers blooms. More importantly, the same concept applies to our lives. We can be in the best of situations--bomb ass careers, bomb ass relationships, bomb ass car, bomb ass ideas, bomb ass dreams, bomb ass fill in the blank as you please. However, if there are old habits in play that discourages bloom and growth, the bomb ass whatever you please will be short-lived. And its a shame, because you--I--we deserve to bloom all year long.

So, I had to think, what dead habits do I have in the flower garden of my life and dreams that need disposing of? I can be a major procrastinator, laziness lurks within, and without getting too deep with ya'll, etc, etc. Nonetheless, these decaying habits (decaying because if it is not encouraging my growth it hinders) have to be removed.

Well, Damn, B, How do I do this?

The thing we don't talk about as it relates to habits is the replacement. We all know the traditional it takes 21 days to break a habit, or make a habit, or eat a habit, or whatever the kids are saying. Yet, in my experience, I've learned breaking a habit means nothing, if there is not a new habit to replace the old habit. For example, if one has a habit of eating unhealthy foods and decides to live more healthy, in ten days or less, the new healthy foods will get old, and those old cravings will start creeping in like decaying flower blooms. What should one do? Find a replacement. Find new healthier food options to stimulate the craving. As it relates to decaying habits, after deadheading, replace them with a tool, an alarm clock, or new habit to encourage blooms. For example, one of my decaying habits is procrastination, right. Now, I have to replace procrastination with the commitment to a schedule. In order to nurture this new habit, I took to listening to motivational sermons or speeches about grinding, growth, and serving God, so when my ten-day itch creeps in, I have a reminder of why I had to deadhead. Also, find an accountability buddy. Enlist the help of a like-minded gardener to lean on when you find yourself slipping back into old habits. Before long, you'll find yourself blooming consistently with brand new and healthy habits.

At the end of the day, this is your life. I'm writing to my unknown audience, but I need the reminder just as well. Five years from now, if we are not blooming in the way we desire for ourselves--if we are not living our dream life or enjoying our bomb ass situations, it will be no one's fault but our own. With that, consider, what habits you need to deadhead and remove from your garden? What ends do you need to clip in order to grow the mane you have always wanted to secure? Only you know. Only you can nurture the flowers of your life and dreams.

By: Britney “Bird Nefertiti” Newton is a spiritual womanist, writer, blogger, poet, and “women are made of fire” enthusiast. 
Follow her on social media! 

Sunday, March 18, 2018

40 Alternatives to These Ableist and Oppressive Words

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There has been lots of conversation surrounding ableism and the language used to insult or describe faulty behavior to people. Before we move forward, let's define ableism-according to is discrimination against disabled people. Ableism can take the form of ideas and assumptions, stereotypes, attitudes and practices, physical barriers in the environment, or larger scale oppression. 

One way to change ableist behavior is to start with the language we use. We often use words that are ableist that we aren't aware of because sadly it is everyday language. Words such as stupid, crazy, lame etc. There are many words we can replace these with to stop contributing to ableist behavior, check them out below. 


If you mean frustrating or perplexing – ”This is so stupid!” or “That’s retarded!” –consider:

1. Frustrating
2. Pointless
3. Annoying
4. Irritating
5. Obnoxious

If you mean intense – ”Woah, crazy!” — consider:

6. Intense
7. Awesome
. Amazing
9. Wild
10. Fascinating

If you mean bad or unpleasant – ”Wow, that’s lame!” — consider:

11. Bad
12. Awful
13. Uncool
14. Gross
15. The pits

If you mean it as an intensifier, positive or negative – ”She’s a crazy good artist!” or “This is insanely difficult!” — consider:

16. Really
17. Very
18. Intensely
19. Wicked
20. Considerably

If you mean unreasonable or absurd – ”That’s crazy!” — consider:

21. Unreasonable
22. Absurd
23. Outrageous
24. Unacceptable
25. Ridiculous

If you mean to describe someone with a bad, dangerous character – ”She’s psychotic!” or “He’s a sociopath!” — consider:

26. Dangerous
27. Menacing
28. Threatening
29. Evil
30. Murderous

If you mean to describe someone who’s doing something a little dorky – ”They’re such a spaz!” or “Are you retarded or something?” — consider:

31. Silly
32. Dorky
33. Cheesy
34. Nonsensical
35. Illogical

If you mean to describe something that’s difficult to understand, or totally bizarre – ”These mass shootings are just crazy.” — consider:

36. Fathomless
37. Daunting
38. Overwhelming
39. Bizarre
40. Bottomless

What are some words you use instead of popular ableist language? let us know in the comment section below!

By: Naima "Queen" Muhammad 
Queen is a 30 something from the Bronx, NY. She created Ms. Vixen to spread her thoughts on feminism, Black pride, it's the first stop on her quest to be a media mogul. 

Follow Queen 
Twitter @TheQueenSpeaks_
Instagram @TheQueenSpeaks_

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Surviving Loss: A Personal Story About TryingTo Get Pregnant After A Miscarriage

About a year ago I wrote about my experience with pregnancy loss. It was an extremely emotional time for my husband and, but unfortunately somewhat common. No, I am writing against not to talk about loss,  but about my conception journey.

Surviving a loss: A Personal Story About Experiencing Miscarriage

I’ll be honest when I first thought about trying to get pregnant I thought this would be pretty easy. I come from a big family (i’m one of five children) and my mother had an unplanned pregnancy at the age of 39. My Sister also has four kids of her own, so I've never really questioned my fertility. I figured when the time came it would be as simple as stopping my birth control and letting nature run its course. Yea. . . it’s not that simple.

Most of the information I’ve read says that most “normal” couples will get pregnant within a year if of trying. Of course, there are many factors that go into this like overall health, underlying fertility issues, age etc. now although I nor my husband are the pictures of perfect health (I’m anemic, and have a Vitamin D deficiency), we’re according to our Doctor’s relatively healthy. There has been a push for us to lose weight which if your been reading ms. Vixen for a while you know I have struggled with FOREVER. . . . ok so not forever but for the past 10 years or so.

Ideally, I would love to lose a ton of weight before getting pregnant but if I’m honest with myself I don’t know how realistic it is. Since maintaining my weight has always been such a struggle for me. I mention this because if I DID need fertility treatment to assist me, losing weight would be mandatory. Last I remembered I was told I would need to lose 30-50 pounds to even be considered for fertility treatment. Apparently, your overall health isn’t nearly as important as the number on the scale but I digress.

If I’m being honest, that’s why I’m here bearing myself to all you lovely readers. Trying to get pregnant is HARD AF. I mean not the act, of course, that’s fun. I mean the emotional impact of trying to have a Baby a planned pregnancy. Of course, it’s not Hard for everyone you have the lucky ones (or not so lucky ones depending on who you ask) who get pregnant without even thinking twice about it. Who don’t even really have to “Try” it just sort of happens.

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I am not one of the “lucky ones” in fact most of the women who I personally know who have gone through this journey aren’t either. Although my journey has not been that long. Got pregnant after 5 months is trying before which did not go to term. It’s been about 4 months this time around and that by no means compares to the women who have been trying for YEARS. None the less I wonder like most Women in this position, will I ever get pregnant? Will I ever have a family?

This is hard Y'all, you do everything in your power I mean literally. The ovulation tests, the prenatal and fertility vitamins, you eat right you try to be healthy. You do your baby dance (trying to conceive talk for sex. Lol) and then you wait and you wait. You do obsessive google searches, like is (fill in the blank) and early pregnancy symptom? Cross your fingers it is so you have some hope that THIS is the month that you see those two little lines finally! And if not you do it all over again, I believe the definition of Insanity is doing the exact same thing over and over and expecting a different result which is pretty much what trying to have a Baby feels like some time fucking Insanity.

I’ve cried at the sight of my period because it meant once again, I wasn’t pregnant. Had to speed walk through the baby section at Target before having another moment of tears coming. Mother nature is messed up the way PMS mimics pregnancy so closely. Hormones are a motherfucker.

Now don’t get me wrong it isn’t all woe is me, trying to have a baby can be fun. I mean for starters your encouraged to have as much sex as possible. I know more about my body then I EVER did before being able to know for certain when my body is doing normal and not so normal things.

I’m sharing all these details about my life to hopefully help someone out there, you aren’t alone. I see you.

What is your conception story? Let us know in the comment section below!

Electa is a self-proclaimed foodie. She is a Wife, a domestic goddess, aspiring chef in training, and a Writer/Blogger from Brooklyn with serious Wanderlust. follow her on twitter: @emazing17, Instagram @emazing17 and snapchat @Emazing1787 

Sunday, February 25, 2018

An Open Letter to All Around The Way Girls

My examples of womanhood came from the throwaway pile. The women that took no shit, and smacked their gum like the smacks were words necessary for their sentence structure. Those girls from the hood with a loud boisterous vernacular, it’s musical and fast, and if you don’t know the vocabulary they’ll leave you in the dust, lost, with no idea you’ve been cut into pieces until your bloody limbs fell to the ground. Those were my champions.

For most of my life, the world told me to despise those girls. Their existence something shameful, there being should disappear and this should be great for our Black queens. Queendom is the goal, the pinnacle of Black women hierarchy, which we all should be aiming to reach. My childhood was filled with messages such as; I was different, and of course, I was better than these women around me. Although I lived in the same projects, wore the same clothes, use the same food stamps,  spoke with the same cadence,  ate the same pickle out of the plastic cellophane bag from the corner store, I somehow was a rose amongst concrete the elite love raving about, I was special.

Girlhood was spent reading lots of books, learning to do hair, and playing on tire swings. My parents were dope about providing safety and comfort.  Kept my siblings and me out the streets and occupied before my adolescence. Attending every kind of dance class you can image- track and field, and I love gymnastics and participated in that from the age of nine until about 13. Girlhood was great and I loved all the experiences presented to me through art and sports, but I never fit with the girls I met in those spaces my parents fought to put me in.  There were missing puzzle pieces, or maybe the wrong pieces forced together with no consideration to the cohesive image of a puzzle. There was no comfort or safety by those surroundings.  I’d go home, to the ghetto and I’d feel safe again, but I'd tell no one how comfortable I felt. The hood, safe? That’s foolish.  I would walk past the girls on the block, they looked so free to me, and then I’d remember the respectability push down my throat that says I shouldn’t look at them lovingly. I’m supposed to rise above, so I’d’ roll my eyes at them, put my nose in the air and walk past them, like a queen. . . .Right?

e.l.f. cosmetics

By adolescence, I shred these thoughts, because I came from a legacy of hood chicks. These ratchet Black women that were resourceful, quick and knew the streets. For a long time, the world told me to not love those things about myself. Speak softer, wear fewer colors, your earrings should be smaller, and many other things I loved about women that fit that description. I was told not to exist, and I thank the Goddess in me for never listening to that white supremacist elitist vile.  They will tell you everything about you is ugly and worthless so you can give it away for free. Then they’ll steal your fly and act like they invented it. This is the stories of poor Black girls all around the world.

Being her has saved my life, the intersection of being unapologetically Black and a woman was taught to me in those spaces, my oppression wasn’t going to result in me muting my carefree. It is those women, the BAPs, the chicken heads, hood rats (and the other vermin euphemism people use for us) that showed me strength in adversity, helped me stay equipped as I battled brutality from White people and Black men.  Through them, I’m still able to laugh and smile, while the odds are piled against me. It is with them I feel the sisterhood, a coven of safety.  How something as colorful as a Black woman from the hood could ever be compared to a weed is beyond my mental reach, but still, we grow. My allegiance to the women who actively taught me what womanism feels like will always be, they are my sisters, and no weapons formed against could ever win because our superpower is evolution.

By Queen 
Queen is a 30 something from the Bronx, NY. She created Ms. Vixen to spread her thoughts on feminism, Black pride, it's the first stop on her quest to be a media mogul. 
Follow Queen 
Instagram @TheQueenSpeaks_

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