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Sunday, October 13, 2019

BAD BITCH AFFIRMATIONS: AFFIRMING OUR SEX LIVES


This session we will discuss affirming our sex lives. The workshop is for folks with vaginas, and we will be joining with Vanessa Geffrard of Vagesteem. Vanessa is the founder of VagEsteem™, a workshop series, and podcast encouraging good and healthy sex through courageous conversations.

Spreading VagEsteem in a World that Teaches you to Hate Yourself... OR Vag 101

About 40% of folks with vaginas and vulvas say that they are not confident in the appearance and size. Society often makes us feel that there is something wrong with the looks, appearance and even the smell of their bodies. Through the use of props, trivia, and open discussion, participants will engage in a series of activities that will leave you empowered, intrigued, and ready to explore! VagEsteem workshops were built on the idea that if folks love what's below the belt, they are more likely to care for and bring pleasure it's way.

Join us and affirm your sex life with the help of Ms. Vixen and Vagesteem




Sunday, October 6, 2019

WE GATHERED AND MARCHED FOR JUSTICE LIKE GENERATIONS BEFORE US


Photo Credit: Diamond Stylz


               
               

         
This past weekend I had the honor of being invited as a photographer to the inaugural National Trans Visibility March. I was equipped with a camera and the cultural competency needed to showcase the beauty and the magic my community has to offer the world. What better way to serve that gift than through images from this groundbreaking event that brought together over 3000 people of trans experiences and their allies. My hometown friend, Marissa Miller and her nationwide trans leadership team worked tirelessly to coordinate the Torch Gala that honors long-time organizers and new emerging powerhouse activists. They brought some of the brightest trans minds to speak at the Freedom Plaza in Washington, DC to inspire and ignite awareness and set the groundwork for the future.

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Queer people have gathered here amongst these monuments and plazas decades before strategizing to speak truth to power and step even farther toward the freedom this country owes us. Bayard Rustin showed us how to do marches and non-violence like a pro resulting with the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom in 1963. With homophobia and respectability politics hanging over the culture like smog, he had to step back from the spotlight of his own creation so that his mere sexuality wouldn’t undermine its effectiveness. By stepping back into the shadows, he let his work and dedication set the stage for King’s famous “I Have A Dream” speech and subsequently King’s martyrdom. That was in 1963. 20 years later in 1983, another March on Washington for Jobs, Peace, and Freedom was organized again. That homophobic smog had cleared very little. So little that in the last hours just before the march they decide to let a lesbian speaker take the stage after a tooth and nail fight between Black Christian conservatives like the then 23-year-old Donna Brazil and the National Black Coalition of Gays and Lesbians to get this woman 3 minutes of talking time. From the shadows of this battle behind the scenes emerged the late great Audre Lorde. Some people in the crowd booed her, but as soon as she began to speak the undeniable truth, they shut up and listened. Here is a link to Nikeeta and Money of the QueerWOC podcast discussing the account in detail. Other marches followed. The Million Man March of the 90s and the most recent Women’s march being the most notable. So it was only a matter of time before the trans children and grandchildren of these crowds followed in their footsteps and create our own.

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I must be honest. We are in an era where white male terrorism is a common occurrence in America. The lives of citizens don’t matter to these bereft vigilantes petrified in racism, bigotry and patriarchy. These murderous mindsets are being reignited by the current occupant of the White House and the long legacy of hate. So I had a level of anxiety gathering in mass in one location. This would have been a perfect opportunity for some lunatic to get us right together. I found myself looking for suspicious people who didn't look like they belonged. As I scanned rooftops, there was a moment my heart pounding because I saw somebody on a rooftop with what I thought could've been a rifle but it was a person with a long lens camera capturing the event as I was. I wish that I could say that I was being irrational letting my paranoia get the best of me, but then I remember Charlottesville, El Paso, Dayton, and the Pulse night club massacre. With the courage and protection of our ancestors on our side, we marched and gathered in defiance of fear because we knew and chanted in unison “We have nothing to lose but our chains.” Assata Shakur would be proud.

There was a star-studded list of speakers employed to kick the march off. The event was hosted by Tiq Milan and Mia Satya. The opening was powerfully delivered by Reverend Valerie Spencer followed by a slew of community activist such as Pose actress Angelica Ross, new HRC president Alphonso David, congressional delegates Eleanor Holmes Norton and Sheila Alexander-Reid, activist supermom Jodie Patterson, and cultural commentator Ashlee Marie Preston to name a few. I was in awe by the care taken to choose the diversity of the speakers. After two hours of oratory delights, we began to march down Pennsylvania Ave and 13th lead by the young and vibrant Toni Michelle Williams of Solutions Not Punishment Collaborative. We chanted “No Justice, No Peace” while carrying a 25 ft trans flag passed the Trump hotel, then we switched to “Stop It, stop killing our girls” or “We will not be erased” as we walked passed monumental statues of white slave owners revered by this society that perfectly fine with throwing our trans soldiers away. We were there to bring awareness to the landmark case the will be brought to the Supreme Court on Oct. 8th to ultimately decide whether Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits employment discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex and national origin, also covers discrimination based on gender identity or sexual orientation. We were there as Americans utilizing our right to critique our government and to say that we will never be delegated to the shadows and that our lives matter. While this event included all trans lives, there was a resounding emphasis on Black trans women's lives needing more focus and protection due to the epidemic of deaths around our country. For most of the event, I was mingling in the speaker’s tent soaking up the community love. When the march started, I was on the front line carrying a sign with the face of Tracey Single, a black trans woman murder and found dead on a gas station parking lot on July 30th in my current residence of Houston, Texas. I could not see the crowd in its totality. I was disappointed by what I thought was a low turnout nut I was wrong. When I got to the location where the march ended four blocks from the capitol on 4th and Pennsylvania, I turned around in awe because the street was still filled with people blocks down the road. My eyes swelled with tears of joy and affirmation. Seeing this trans collective of diverse people on one accord was soul shifting. This was a moment I will never forget.

If you would like to see all the photos from the march and gala, go over to Marsha’s Plates facebook page




               
               

         

 Check out Diamond Stylz and more of her amazing work by following her on twitter @Diamondstylz

























Sunday, September 29, 2019

HOW GROWN FOLKS MAKE FRIENDS

Photo Credit nappy.co


               
               

         
As we all get older and make changes in our lives, it changes the landscape of our friendships as well. Some of our "down for whatever" friends have changes in their lives that change the relationship. You may see your friends less and the social activities you use to enjoy together may not be how you'll hang out now, and that's a natural thing.

As a child, I made most of my friends at school and in the mosque I attended. These were spaces where I had continuous contact with the same people who had a similar interest or background. As children, our parents or guardians generally set these kinds of spaces up for us. They decide where we lived and the places we went, but the common occurrence is the continuous interaction you have with the people in these social settings. This is is how we build relationships.



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So why does it seem harder to make friends as an adult? I think as an adult we care a lot more what people think and we carry baggage from past traumas. Also, we don't generally create social settings our parents created for us as children. We tend to go out communally, which deters us from meeting new people. As children, we went into our many social settings alone and had to make friends there. This doesn't happen often as adults unless you move to another city. Mirroring how we made friends as children can make it easier to start this process as an adult.

Here are some ways I think are helpful for making friends as an adult

Join a meet-up group 

Meetup is accessible on a personal computer, tablet, or through its phone-based app. If you enjoy reading books, knitting, watching movies, traveling, or indulging in spa treatments in your spare time, there are specific groups tailored to your hobbies, ethnicity, and even your job or college major. In addition, if you're the outgoing type or your passion isn't currently represented on the platform, feel free to start your own group for members to join.

Take an adult class

Kinda like you did while in school, learning something new is a great place to make new friends. Tap into that energy as an adult by participating in an adult class or workshop that centers on what you're really interested in. Need to brush up on your skills in the kitchen? Take a cooking or baking class, and spark a conversation with the person at your workstation. From crafting and dancing to writing and cycling, you can search for available classes that are available near you online, or check out community colleges or local institutions offering self-improvement or recreational courses.

Join a book club, podcast or TV group 

If you like reading, book clubs are a great way to meet people with a common interest, but I like to take it further and add podcasts and TV shows. It's great to have conversations about the media you consume and discussing it with your homies. There's always something you'll have interpreted differently, that'll be cool to talk about. 

Happy hour

So, I'll be honest and say I was hesitant about putting this on my list, but when I asked people on my social media they all said this works for them. Many people do go to happy hours and meet new people all the time. I have never gone to a bar alone and will challenge myself to do this more, so I'll keep yall updated on how this goes! 

Social Media 

Social media is a great way to meet people all over the world. I have made friends all over the USA through twitter, and yes, we've met in real life! Even if you don't meet IRL, it's a great opportunity to find a community and people with interest similar to yours. 

Are there some suggestions you have that I left out? Please let me know in the comment section below! 




 By: Naima "Queen" Muhammad 
Queen is a 30 something from the Bronx, NY. She created  Ms. Vixen to spread her thoughts on womanism, Black pride, it's the first stop on her quest to be a media mogul. 

Follow Queen 
Twitter @TheQueenSpeaks_
Instagram @TheQueenSpeaks_



               
               
            







Wednesday, September 25, 2019

MS. VIXEN THE PODCAST: EP. 7 COMMUNITY HBIC w/ JANICIA


On this episode, I chat about what I did for my birthday, and why I prioritize celebrating my birthday the way I do. We also had an amazing conversation with my co-host from Tea with Queen and J. podcast Janicia. We talk community, cosplay and bad bitch energy, hope you enjoy!

Links mentioned this episode:
Check out J.'s  website and podcast at  http://TeawithqueenandJ.com

Follow Janicia  on socials:
Twitter.com/janiciaf
Instagram.com/janiciaf

Janicia cause you believe in paying Black women www.cash.app/$janiciaf

We have a merch store, check that out here! https://shopmsvixen.storenvy.com/

Donate to Ms. Vixen http://www.msvixenmag.com/p/blog-page.html

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Sunday, September 1, 2019

MS. VIXEN THE PODCAST: EP. 6 MENTAL ILLNES IS NORMAL w/ ASA






On this episode, about my little break from the podcast and I chatted with Asa of the lithium to lashes blog and ratchet aunty and uncles podcast. I want to have a conversation about mental health and wellness from a different perspective

Links mentioned this episode:

Check out Asa's blog http://www.lithiumtolashes.com/
Check out Asa's podcast http://mochaminutes.libsyn.com/website

Follow Asa on socials:
Twitter.com/lithiumtolashes
Instagram.com/lithiumtolashes

Donate to Asa's Patreon:www.patreon.com/lithiumtolashes

Stay in touch with Ms. Vixen by following us on the socials:

Twitter.com/_msvixen_

Instagram.com/_msvixen_

Facebook.com/msvixen



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Send us an email: Contact@msvixenmag.com


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Wednesday, August 21, 2019

ABORTION APOCOLYPSE

AP Photo/Evan Vucci
AP Photo/Evan Vucci



 Originally published on talynnkel.com








It’s really hard looking at you fuckers who are content to let the world burn because you think you’re fireproof.



I am legit sitting here struggling to arrange my thoughts around the sheer number of goofy motherfuckers who think that being anti-abortion is moral. To think that denying any person who could potentially be pregnant any choice about that is somehow humane is fucking mind-boggling to me. I was born after Roe vs Wade. I grew up knowing that if I didn’t want to be pregnant for any reason, I had the option. I have spoken out and financially supported organizations intent on providing that option because it’s a fucking medical procedure that your corrupt, bottom-feeding asses have made into a ridiculous moral issue. ALL for something that you not only couldn’t but wouldn’t be able to save should it expel itself out of a body. You’d be grossed out cuz it’s not a fucking person. And to lie and tell yourselves that it could be is some high form white people fuckery. Cuz y’all don’t give one flying fuck about too many living people, often citing the same morality guiding your hand on abortion.

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It’s almost like you have something to gain from oppressing the rights of others. It’s almost like you benefit someway when other people are trapped, desperate, hurting, and fighting to survive. Like it makes us easier to distract and control or some shit.



Black people who are anti-abortion confuse the fuck out of me considering the ways our bodies are manipulated and controlled by media, police, employers, etc. How can anyone with our history deny body autonomy to anyone else? Black men who support this confuse me and Black womxn who co-sign on this shit confuse me even more. Like, WTF? How do you prioritize unwanted health risks and possible potential life over people who are right here, trying to figure shit out and live the best they can? How can you willfully decide not just to limit their opportunities based on some shady moral shit, but then support punishment for it?



White womxn are just trash. Y’all loud and wrong, quiet and wrong, defensive and wrong, offensive and wrong…y’ all stay backing white men thinking they are going to protect you when every fucking time you only make yourselves more vulnerable to them. You support them building weapons against you because you think it will protect whiteness when really it just exploits you. And you don’t give a fuck. You can’t. You keep birthing, enabling, and protecting these fucking monsters only to be confused when the monsters attack you.



We have civilly both-sided our way into continued stolen elections and the intentional destruction of civil rights, and white people still don’t think it’s a fucking problem. The only possible conclusion I can reach as I watch this shit is this: You don’t want to save yourselves – you want to save whiteness. And whiteness is white supremacist, ableist, sizeist, patriarchal capitalism – something too many of you has decided to die for since you seek to deny women medical care.

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I’ve been pro-abortion all my life. If you don’t want to be pregnant, you shouldn’t have to be. For years, I fell into the rhetoric trap, parsing out the ways it should be acceptable under the misguided notion that I could find a compromise, but there is no compromise on human rights. There is no compromise on body autonomy. There is no compromise on my decision to have a medical procedure when I knew I did not want to be a parent. I have always been aware of the limits that parenthood would place on my life as our society punishes women for having children. Pregnancy and its “positive” outcome are a direct line to increased economic and social oppression and exploitation and I decided to opt-out. It’s only marginally accepted in this society to choose not to have kids, but it has never been openly acceptable to have an abortion, despite the many women, married and single, who have them and don’t talk about it.



Abortion was one of the things that I vocally supported and refused to admit to doing. I decided that my decision wasn’t available for public consumption, because the voice coming from this fat, Black, femme body doesn’t fucking matter when it comes to legislation, patriarchy, and white fuckery. All I’d be doing is providing yet another reason for people to attack and dismiss me. Another way to put my economic stability at risk. Another way to be ostracized and scorned. I have more than enough of those so why add another, when it would add nothing to the conversation?



And my talking about it now won’t matter because human rights are a debate for white people. White people created “white people” specifically to deny other human rights. It’s easier to elevate one over another than one over many, which explains limiting people to two genders, male and female, and why white people see racial identity as white and other. White males get the power. Others do not.



White womxn refuse to see their “other” status. They think being white erases that and there is nothing anyone can say to make them realize that because for them, it’s not about whether or not they are in the crosshairs…it’s that they are the last ones to be in the crosshairs. We are playing a game called “who dies first” and in the gender wars, it’s anyone who isn’t a man. This thing where we sacrifice others on the altar of white supremacist, ableist, sizeist, patriarchal capitalism for the illusion of safety erodes our fucking humanity. It erodes our communities. It destroys everything and everyone so that white people can pretend they are the best humans on a planet they murder.



Black and Indigenous people have been saying stop for centuries. Live to co-exist with the environment. But white supremacy dictates that we abuse the environment. Exploit it. Consume its resources and pollute it. “Other” people are fodder for their vision of power and this shit is evident in every fucking way, but too many of us pretend it’s a conspiracy so that we can figure out who it is acceptable to destroy in our bids for power.



I am one of the more acceptable ones to crush in that bid for power for many people. It is a reality I struggle to manage, especially when I am one of many voices screaming at the top of my lungs at how this is destroying all of us. But I am a fat, Black womxn. My voice is untrustworthy. My truth is unverified. And my experiences are my overactive imagination. Because white people create any and every reason to avoid the truth and spit out every teaspoon of the bitter reality that they have written the recipe for. And I will not survive to see their inevitable downfall. I will not get to see them burn in the ramifications of their selfish decisions. I will die, probably sooner than later, knowing that everything will continue falling to shit for the masses as swaths of the masses choose to protect whiteness and its elites. All because white people want to feel good about the illusion that they are more important than anyone else. And they will destroy anyone who contradicts that. Especially for people like me.



There is no change coming because the people who could do it, don’t see the benefit in it. So, we’ll keep trying to survive the monsters they continue to create and protect while everything burns around us. Why change where there are billions who will probably burn before you will?











Photograph by  Geek Behind the Lens Photography   Photoshop edits by  Acdramon's Artist Cove    Additional media and press coverage of TaLynn Kel.Photograph by Geek Behind the Lens Photography Photoshop edits by Acdramon's Artist Cove Additional media and press coverage of TaLynn Kel.

Photograph By Geek Behind The Lens Photography
Written By: Talyn Kel

Writer. Speaker. Cosplayer. Womanist.

Contact her: talynnkel@gmail.com
















Thursday, August 15, 2019

#5 BAD BITCH DOUALA W/ SEQUIOA KEMP




On this episode, I do a little check-in about romantic life and I chatted with Sequoia Kemp, a certified doula based in Syracuse NY. She is an amazing woman whose goal is to make doula services accessible to folks that give birth. Listen to the conversation learn so much about Back communal birthing practices.
Links mentioned this episode:
Join me at the Ms. Vixen IRL event, Bad Bitch Affirmations: Our Bodies workshop. Entry is a donation of your choice: www.msvixenmag.com/2019/07/affirmi…s-workshop.html
Instagram: www.instagram.com/doula4aqueen/
Twitter: twitter.com/urhighness_love
Support Sequoia initiative by making her services more accessible by sending her a donation on her gofundme www.gofundme.com/f/nurse-midwife-…p_cp+share-sheet
Twitter.com/_msvixen_
Instagram.com/_msvixen_
Facebook.com/msvixen
Follow Sequioa on all the social media
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Saturday, August 3, 2019

EP #4 CONSENT. . . PERIODT W/ VANESSA


On this episode, I do a little fitness check-in about my new work out routine, hopefully, I can keep at it. On this episode, I chatted with Venessa from Vageestem, she's a charismatic sexual health educator, and I had so much fun chatting with her, and I hope you thank its lit too!!

Sunday, July 14, 2019

EP #3 FORMER SAGE BURNING BITCHES w/ JUJU BAE



On this episode, I do a little mental check-in and talk a little bit about finding balance while things pick up for me this summer. I had an epiphany and realize I hate She's Gotta Have It more than I thought I did previously. I'm actually offended. Then, today's conversation is with Juju Bae of a little Juju podcast. we had a great discussion about hoodooism
Links mentioned this episode:
Join me at the Ms. Vixen IRL event, Bad Bitch Affirmations: Our Bodies workshop. Entry is a donation of your choice: www.msvixenmag.com/2019/07/affirmi…s-workshop.html
Listen to Tea with Queen and J.'s She's Gotta Have it review series: Tea-with-queen-and-j – We-gotta-have-it-dajumpoff-bootyfull
Listen to A Little Juju Podcast: @user-991694293
Follow her on all the social media
Instagram: www.instagram.com/itsjujubae/
Stay in touch with Ms. Vixen by following us on the socials:
Help sustain, progress and keep Ms. Vixen going by hitting us up with a donation: www.msvixenmag.com/p/blog-page.html
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Friday, July 5, 2019

EP #2: AFFIRMING PLEASURE W/ EV'YAN WHITNEY



On this episode, (which is a week late, sorry ya'll) I get into how great my Bad Bitch Affirmation workshop went at the CareFreeBlackGirl cookout in Brooklyn. I show my first patron some love, Robert of the Grizzly and Kiki podcast, thanks boo!! Please check out their website to listen to their amazing podcast! www.grizzlykiki.com/ On this episode, I chat with sexuality doula and the host of the Sexually liberated woman podcast Ev'yan Whitney, and we chat about pleasure, her sexual healing journey, and we fangirl all over each other. I really hope you enjoy our conversation xoxo.
Links mentioned this episode:
Information for Queer Global, and Marsha's Plate's live show:
www.instagram.com/p/By5XXiullLj/
Get More Ev' yan Whitney by visiting her website evyanwhitney.com/
Follow Ev'yan Whitney on Instagram: www.instagram.com/evyan.whitney/

LISTEN HERE! 
 
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